my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she peed on how many people?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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