dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
