the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
