Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
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