Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
