it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
