Ketchup is God's man juice
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
