alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
