We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
