don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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