He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
