its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
birth control should be required to get into college
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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