Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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