im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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