Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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