White coat. Heels.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
