the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
