Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
