yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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