Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I love you. Go after that dick
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
