He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
