So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
