The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
