Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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