There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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