Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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