just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
