stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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