my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
