It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just had sex on a roof
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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