my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize