Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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