Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize