Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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