yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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