Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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