we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Pooping to opera.
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