I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
