Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
