im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
