I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
