Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize