i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
