okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
