I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize