I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
