Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
