I smell stomach acid.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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