it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize