let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
