FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
