I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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