Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
