Please, let me fuck your mom
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
