you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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