i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
