I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
