My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
