why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
