Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i will never coherently bang her
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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