i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize