I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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