Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
