What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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