I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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