Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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