I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
